


The marathon

by orphan_account



Category: Regular Show
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 04:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14969300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	The marathon

It was a nice warm day in the park, everything was smooth and quiet. The sun was shining bright and gentle, nothing too hasty or harmful in any way. The clouds were few but beautiful, they look like little fluffy balls of whiteness that promised to make that day even more peaceful. The birds were chirping, filling the air with their melodious songs, and the little animals like squirrels and dogs being walked around only made the scene even lovelier.

But all that went to heck the minute Mordecai and Rigby run in followed by an angry mob.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“COME BACK YOU TWO!”

They were running for their dear lives, and once they managed to cross the park they made it into the city. They got into an alley and hid inside a trash container, making sure to close up the lid and stay quiet until there weren’t any noises around.

“What are we going to do?” Rigby whispered in fear. “We can’t get caught!”

“I don’t know, you really did it this time,” Mordecai said as he lifted the lid a bit to peek around.

“It wasn’t MY fault! This was all you!”Rigby accused him with his finger pointed at him. Mordecai answered by putting a hand on the raccoon’s mouth.

“Stop shouting!” He mumbled, “and this was all you! None of this would have ever happened if you hadn’t signed up for that stupid marathon in the first place!”

“I had to do it! Otherwise you would have never gotten off my back!”

“I told you not to do it but you just wouldn’t listen!”

1 WEEK AGO

“Alright, guys, listen up because we don’t have all day.”

The park crew was once again gathered up at the front of the house; Benson was standing in front of them with a clip board and ready to give them their chores for the day.

“Let’s see, Skips, you have gardening duty today, and for good reason. Kids keep stealing flowers to avoid paying for real gifts to their mothers on mothers’ day and last week was no exception.”

“As much as I don’t like the kids ripping off the flowers, I’m glad they at least give their mothers something special on their day,” Skips said solemnly.

“Yes, but that nice sentiment isn’t helping when it comes to our gardening budget. You don’t want to make another bakery sale, do you?”

The entire crew erupted in groans and exclamations of worry, since the last bakery sale that they had done to raise funds had ended up in a very unnecessarily complicated battle with a pie monster that had happened because of Mordecai and Rigby-wow what a surprise.

“That it is then. Now, Mordecai and Rigby, I need you to make sure the trail crossing the park is clear for the marathon.”

“Marathon?” Rigby asked.

“Yeah, as in that thing that people do to torture themselves?” Muscleman answered.

“I’m talking about the Bi-centenary Marathon in commemoration of the founding of the city,” Benson explained. “It’s about 3000 miles worth and it’s set to cross this same park so you have to make sure that the whole path is clear and free of anything blocking the way, okay? Remember, it’s a normal race, not an obstacle race,” he laughed at his own joke.

“Gosh, I’ve never understood why people even participate on those things. Why would anyone run if they don’t have to?”

“Probably for the prize,” Benson said absentmindedly.

“What? What prize?”

“Whoever wins the race gets one wish, no matter how ridiculous or expensive it is.”

“What?” Mordecai said in excitement, “That’s amazing!”

“Imagine what you could even begin to ask for with one free wish!” Rigby joined in.

“A million dollars!”

“Free movie tickets for the rest of your life!”

“A mountain of fried chicken!”

“Stop it!” Benson ordered, “You two have to work on the trail, remember? I don’t want you two slacking off so that you can join a race for something as stupid as fried chicken! Focus on your work and do your out loud day dreaming on your free time OR YOU’RE FIRED!”

Benson chose that as his last line in that conversation and turned around and left. So did the rest of the gang, leaving Mordecai and Rigby alone to ponder about their next course of action.

“Okay, so what do we do?”

“Clean the path like Benson said?”

“No! I wasn’t talking about that,” Rigby elaborated, “I mean, we’re totally joining that race right?”

“Mmm, I don’t know dude, it’s not like we’re star athletes or anything. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“What? But you heard Benson, Mordecai, it’s ONE FREE WISH! We could ask for anything in the world!”

“Yeah, but do you have any idea how many participants will be at that race? People have probably been training around for months, and the most exercise we do is with video games. Especially you.”

“What?” Rigby sounded offended, “What do you mean ‘especially me’? What are you trying to imply here!”

“I’m not ‘implying’ anything. I’m simply stating the facts.”

“Oh, and what ‘facts’ are those, mister ‘stater’?!”

“The facts are you are the worst when it comes to something that isn’t slacking off.”

“That’s not true! Stop lying!”

“Dude you’re always complaining about work because ‘it’s too much effort’.”

“That’s just because it’s boring! If it was something I actually cared about then I’d put all my energy on it!”

“Sure, that’s why I always see you do nothing that isn’t playing videogames.”

“Stop talking!”

“You suck at them too, somehow.”

“STOP TALKING!” Rigby finally exploded. “I’m going to show you, I’m going to show everybody! I’m going to win that marathon and use my wish on something I want! And I’ll rub my victory all over your face!”

He left running, even after Mordecai started calling after him to come back.

Rigby put all his efforts in training, but predictably enough he was terrible at it. He decided to go ask for help to an expert, Skips.

“What’s the matter now?”

“Well, you see-”

“Let me guess, you want to prove Mordecai wrong by winning the Bi-centenary Marathon by yourself but you’re terrible at sports.”

“Woaaaaaah,” Rigby let out in amazement, “how did you know?”

“I heard your commentary earlier today with Benson and it was easy to go from there.”

“Are you going to help me?”

“I can, but honestly I don’t think it’ll make the difference. It’s only one week from the marathon, there’s no time at all to make you a serious competitor before then.”

“Aw, come on Skips, pleeeeeeeese?”

Skips stared a couple seconds at Rigby’s puppy eyes before finally letting out a sigh, “I guess we don’t lose anything by trying.”

Rigby started cheering, “thanks Skips! You won’t regret this!”

“I sort of already do, but okay I guess.”

About some time later they started a hilarious training montage, Skips was trying his best to train Rigby in the art of running but the short raccoon was clearly not the athlete type. He was a slacker at heart, and would either wheeze and pant every two seconds or try using short cuts or whatever cheating method he could to get to the finish line faster.

At the end of the day, Rigby was sore to the bone.

“Gosh, I think even my hair hurts by now.”

“Well, for once I can tell you I’m proud of you Rigby. You did most of your training and increased your running speed significantly, you’re way better than when you started six days ago.”

“What? Six days? How? When? When do we slept?” Rigby said wide eyed.

“You don’t remember the other days because you would pass out immediately after each training secuence,” Skips explained.

“And do you think I can win the marathon now?”

“Ehh…” Skips looked at his side.

“What?”

“Well, turns out that even if you improved from your initial timing, you started being just a little faster than a toddler carrying a big box, so…I don’t think so,” he finish with a shake of his head.

“You can’t be serious!” Rigby started throwing a fit, “All this training for nothing!”

“It wasn’t for nothing Rigby,” Skips disagreed, “you must be feeling a lot healthier after all that exercising, and you have increased your running speed a lot!”

“What’s that good for if I can’t win the race?!” Rigby yelled as he run away, regardless of Skips worriedly calling his name.

He started running around the city, holding back angry tears as he cursed himself for not being more fit. He stumbled across an electronics store, where a lot of TV screens were looking directly at him. There was a commercial running that caught his attention.

“Are you tired of always finishing last? Tired of your friends not believing in your running abilities? Tired of being fat and ugly? BE ONLY UGLY! WITH OUT NEW PRODUCT! Use the Running machine!”

“The heck is this?” Rigby asked.

“You’re probably wondering ‘the heck is this?!’ So let me answer that for you!” The tv announcer continued, “this is a brand new invention that does all the work for you! You just need to lay down and sit back after connecting the Running Machine in your legs and they become trained and ready to run in a matter of hours! Just get the Running Machine and beat everyone in any race without breaking a sweat! GET IT NOW!”

“Woaaaaaaaaah,” Rigby said, “I know what I have to do now.”

It went predictably poorly, as you can probably tell by now. Rigby got the product, which gave him crazy strong legs, but he couldn’t control them since he over used the product and they were too strong for him to handle and broke havoc among the City.

Which was why the angry mob started chasing him in the first place and had to ask Mordecai to help him hide. Which led us to the present, hidden inside a garbage container. They decided to stay hidden until the people went away, but had to wait for Rigby’s legs to go back to normal or they would be recognized too easy.   


End file.
